Found on - LINK
“10! 9! 8!!!”
The ball was dropping. I was sitting in the same place emotionally as I had been four the past four years. I was going to kiss the same girl and have the same experience as I had the year before. And the year before that and the year before that, Or so I thought. I pressed my lips to the opening of an ice cold beer. Condensation on my finger tips and cold glass in my palm. I can’t remember for the life of me what kind it was, but as my eyes gazed down the neck of the bottle I caught her staring at me from across the room. Smiling, Sitting on the floor with a bowl of Doritos, she had to have had twice as many drinks as I did. But her blue eyes were still piercing my thoughts even with the alcohol inhibiting her ability to speak. She didn’t need to speak. Her smile was enough to make me smile and look away. Nobody had given me that sort of feeling in years, especially the girl I was now pressing my lips up against to start the new year. I had spent too long keeping this show up. I closed my eyes and kissed her, and thought about the girl sitting across the room and how I wished it had been her. Even though I barely knew her, I wanted to move that bowl from her lap and take its place, put my face up to hers and feel her smile and lip ring against my kisses. I could feel the passion in the situation, but yet was stuck on repeat with my current whatever she was. What a mess.
“happy new year baby.”
I was face to face with a different set of eyes. No lip ring. No nothing.
“happy new year to you.”
I smiled. But it was my fake smile. She never could tell the difference. It was like talking to a wall most of the time. I would tell her what she wanted to hear and she would go on with her life like everything was picture perfect.
